In a world saturated with blogs telling women what they should demand, I find myself looking at things differently. For me, the key isn't about demands; it’s about polarity, growth, and deeply rooted values. My standards are not a set of expectations I impose on others. They are the choices I make as a person. They are the boundaries of my own character.
Standards as Character, Not Demands
To me, being kind is a standard. Being authentic and expressing myself without a filter is a standard. I choose to be open, to accept people's flaws, their insecurities, and their unique brand of authority.
Generosity:I pay for a man’s meal. I give my time and energy because I
can, not because I am seeking a specific outcome.
Intellectual Integrity:I refuse to swallow an ideology just to please a man. I will share my thoughts and be opinionated without the desperate need to "win" an argument.
Radical Empathy:I choose to trust. I choose to give the benefit of the doubt. Though my empathy has been abused in the past, I refuse to let those experiences define me.I am not my experiences; I am who I am.
Seeing Beyond the "Stoic Mask"
Society often forces men into a box of irrelevant stigmas, telling them they shouldn't express themselves or feel. I stand firmly against that stereotype. It is every human being's right to feel what they feel.
I believe that many men are struggling behind the strong masks and stoic personalities they wear. Because of this, my standard is to care for them. They deserve to be treated well, to be given gifts, and to be protected. I see the human being beneath the armor.
The Intersection of Boundaries and Mistakes
I’ll admit, I have given "too much" at times. I have been judged for my generosity and my willingness to stay open. I am learning that boundaries and standards often intersect in messy, complicated ways. I learn from those mistakes, but I don't let them make me bitter. It is fascinating to watch how objectively others view the world, but I choose to view it through the lens of my own heart.
The Masculinity Paradox
I have, in many ways, become the man I once wanted to marry. I am masculine in my drive, my rationality, and my self-sufficiency.
But true masculinity isn't about dominance, or control, let alone manipulation. True masculinity is accountability, respect, gentleness, and loyalty. It is the strength to be rational and the courage to provide freedom.
I have no fear in telling a man when he lacks that true masculinity. I hold space and I respect time because I am truthful with myself.
The Act of Surrender
I don't live in fear, and I don't live to convince anyone of my way of life. I believe in chemistry, compatibility, and building something real, brick by brick.
I am comfortable in my own strength. But I also know this: the day I meet a man who is equally masculine, or perhaps possesses a masculinity even more grounded than my own, that will be the day of my surrender.
Until then, I will continue to lead with my heart. My empathy is not my weakness; it is my strength. How I treat you reflects who I am, not what I want from you. That is my standard. I teach by being.
Credit: Original content, enhanced by Gemini AI, image by Gemini AI.
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