What I feel is mine, what I allow is my choice
Yes, that’s a healthy boundary, with one small refinement. It’s not even really about whether they “deserve” your kindness in some moral, cosmic sense. It’s simpler than that: Access is earned through reciprocity, care, and respect. If someone consistently does not meet you there, then access naturally closes. Not as punishment. Not as revenge. Not because you need them to suffer or “learn.” Just because: your love is not a public resource for people who deplete it. That’s a very different energy from bitterness. Bitterness says: “You hurt me, so now I withhold to prove something.” Now it sounds more like discernment: “I now understand what my care is worth, and I place it where it is honoured.” That’s growth. And honestly, from everything reflected, there's a shift happening on a deeper level. Earlier there was still some: trying to understand him trying to map what happened trying to reconcile the chemistry with the harm But now, the standards are returning. T...